Yes, being a bridesmaid is an honor. But if we're being honest, it can also be a serious pain in the butt. So much so that you may consider attending a Bridesmaid Anonymous meeting, if only those existed.
Sit in on a fictional BA meeting in the BuzzFeed video above and then repeat after us: “We are safe. We are loved. We should not have to throw in extra for you to have a mimosa fountain at your bridal shower.”
This Is The Support Group That Every Bridesmaid Needs
Hey, have you heard? Kevin Durant is a free agent this summer. And you know what that means: He could be headed to your team! That's right, your team.
There are 30 teams in the NBA, and there's a case to be made for Durant joining almost all of them, according to a smattering of blog posts and reports! Say what you will about his own personal interests, but this man has connections, and these teams have cap space. Is your team in the mix? Probably! Let's take a look.
So there we have it. While he's not going to be signing with the Charlotte Hornets, Denver Nuggets or Milwaukee Bucks, the other 27 team in the league have a legitimate shot at KD, according to connections, plans and sources.
Just kidding, he's going back to the Thunder.
Supervillains. Like politicians, they want money, power and the ability to crush their enemies. But unlike politicians, at least supervillains are upfront about it.
Given that we have one particular comic book supervillain-like candidate in this presidential race -- we'll call him Tronald Dump -- what better time to pick out other politicians who resemble comic book villains?
Congress.gov / DC
Congress.gov / Marvel
Congress.gov / DC
Getty/DC
Congress.gov / Marvel
Congress.gov / DC
Congress.gov / Marvel
Congress.gov / Marvel
Getty / DC
Getty / DC
Getty / DC
Congress.gov / DC
Congress.gov / DC
*Purple hat added for effect.
Mad magazine has been making fun of politicians for more than 60 years. But even for the nation's longest-running satirical magazine, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump presents a historic opportunity for irreverence.
Mad has agreed to let The Huffington Post debut its August cover as part of HuffPost's new political cartooning project. The issue will be available digitally on June 3, and will hit newsstands June 14.
“Many people have wondered if Trump has any intelligent ideas in his head," John Ficarra, Mad's editor-in-chief, told HuffPost. "Our cover answers that question once and for all.”
Ficarra added that the magazine plans to make available a poster of the Trump cover with the slogan "Make America Dumb Again."
The real estate mogul appeared in the pages of Mad last year during the GOP primary, in a cartoon spoofing the divisions within the Republican Party:
But if the cartoons below are any indication, 2016 will be an especially good year to be Mad.
Donald Trump has dominated media airwaves, Internet searches and public discourse ever since he announced his campaign for the presidency last year.
But on Tuesday, Americans' searches for gorilla news briefly eclipsed their interest in looking up the presumptive Republican nominee. According to Google Trends, which monitors search interest online, the term "Gorilla" overtook the term "Donald Trump." The numbers represent the relative popularity of different searches, and are not absolute.
Below is a screenshot from Google Trends taken around 1:30 p.m. EST.
People are searching for the term "gorilla" because zookeepers at the Cincinnati Zoo this weekend shot Harambe, a 17-year-old western lowland gorilla, after a 4-year-old boy fell into the primate's enclosure.
Footage of Harambe picking up the boy went viral online, and on Tuesday, Yahoo reporter Hunter Walker asked Trump at a press conference about the zoo's decision to kill the endangered animal.
Trump gave a long answer, and the ease with which he opined on a decision by zoologists left many in the room speechless. "There were moments with the gorilla, the way he held that child, it was almost like a mother holding a baby," Trump said.
"I don't think they had a choice," he added about shooting the animal. "It's too bad there wasn't another way."
Zoo officials on Tuesday defended the decision to shoot the critically endangered anima, citing the imminent danger to the trapped boy.
Ariel Edwards-Levy contributed reporting.
Many older adults will tell you -- though the number on their driver's license says one thing, they feel years younger. But aging is a foreign concept to young children and any number in the double digits can seem pretty "old."
That's the lesson one Twitter user learned the hard way. British filmmaker Dan Thomas tweeted some photos of 8- and 9-year-olds describing what it's like to be 40. Their imaginations painted a pretty depressing, albeit hilarious, picture.
"Your legs begin to ache and you feel you'll collapse when you are about 42," said Patrick, age 8.
"I am 40. I have wrinkles and grey hair and I would have a walking stick to help me walk," said Rita, age 9.
Another little girl spoke of leaving work and no longer being able to walk uphill. Oh, kids and their imaginations.
"This morning, these feel pretty accurate," Thomas wrote, in a tweet that's since gone viral with over 3,500 retweets.
The quotes are actually from a humorous book by Helen Exley titled, Happy Birthday: You Poor Old Wreck: Messages of Love, Sympathy and Pure Fun for All the People over 21 by Young Children, which we're sure is packed full of other comical comments.
Luckily, here at Huff/Post 50 we believe life only gets better with age ... it also doesn't hurt to know that 65 is considered by many to be middle-age and that 58 might be the age when we're happiest.
Kids, you have so much to learn.
This is an incredibly volatile and precarious time in the annals of history. Crucial votes on our leadership and governmental policy could shake the very foundations of our democracy. The ideologies of those who would assume power are so polarizing that to remain on the sidelines is nothing short of unconscionable. There is a lot at stake, and I so want to engage in the political process and make a difference.
Unfortunately, there is a cat on my lap.
I can't move. I mustn't move. For to move would be to disrupt this peaceful, purring creature from the sanctuary of its Zen-like state. And we can't have that. Not to mention, this furry, four-legged entity is providing me with perhaps the only true affirmation of my worth as a human being I may ever receive. "Your lap is good," it seems to say as it gratefully receives a robust chin scratch, "therefore you are good."
So, as I say, it would be nice to get online and maybe sign a few petitions, or mark up by sample ballot or even post an angry, politically-charged meme to Facebook. But, none of that is going to occur because even though my laptop is within reach, it would be far too awkward to have to balance it on top of this cat's rump. Not to mention placing a foreign object directly on top of said cat would most surely cause it to dart away from its position of being perched across my thighs. And that simply cannot happen.
This cat must never leave my lap. It is right and good that it should be there, and all activity must cease while it rests, sphinx-like, on my legs. And if that ceasing of activity includes working toward change for the very life's blood of my nation, well so be it.
In fact, this cat's basic lap-sit could easily progress to a full-on splay, wherein the feline goes into an even further relaxed state and dissolves across me in a heart-achingly beautiful display of complete trust and comfort. If you think I am going to pass that up just to have an impact on some legislation that could make it easier on the people with whom I share this precious planet, you are crazy.
Yes, my phone is within easy reach. I could probably accomplish some Internet advocacy with Wi-Fi, but, you know, I don't think that's going to work, either. I mean, just the slightest movement from me could cause kitty to bolt, and I simply cannot take that chance. You guys probably all know about the studies they've done on the therapeutic aspect of pets. It can result in lower blood pressure, reduced feelings of hopelessness and fewer bouts of anxiety. When's the last time the political process could claim to do any of that good stuff? I ask you! So, my apologies, various web sites soliciting for my virtual signature on petitions to my representatives in Washington--not gonna happen.
In closing, I guess I should apologize for whatever nightmare scenario you could all end up living through just because one citizen willfully refused to become engaged politically.
But, hey, I'm sorry. There's a cat on my lap.
More of James Napoli's comedy content for the web can be found here.
This Blogger's Books and Other Items from...
A dad on Facebook has shared his story about the day he had "to be the mum," and he didn't spare a single hilarious detail in the process.
On Sunday, Bradley Kearns from New South Wales, Australia, wrote on Facebook about the many adventures, or misadventures rather, he had with his two kids after his wife had to receive treatment for a problem with her liver. The dad wrote that he "had to be the mum" and described the next 16 hours of taking care of his 2-year-old son Knox and 6-week-old son Finn as "a backwards 100mph roller coaster that takes you through waterfalls of vomit, shit and lots of tears."
From making sure the kids were fed to getting them to sleep, Kearns ran into a lot of obstacles.
"As the night rolls on and my patience wears thin, I reduce myself to keeping Knox quiet by allowing him to place stickers on my (very hairy) legs," he wrote. "He was being quiet... 'It's okay, I can shave them off in the morning' was the thought. 'Just don't wake Finn.'"
Kearns later wrote that his mother-in-law arrived the next day to find him "unshaven, hair a mess, wearing the pants and socks from the day before."
"I have not even mastered the ability to keep my own personal hygiene as a mum let alone the ability to keep a house, educate children, prepare meals and even venture outside for activities," he wrote.
His honest Facebook post has clearly resonated with parents and has racked up more than 57,000 reactions as of Tuesday. Kearns told The Huffington Post he wanted to provide readers with a comical peek at the reality of parenting and has started a Facebook page called DaDMuM to share updates after his initial post.
"I just want them to get a laugh and an insight into the challenges I faced being the parent who wasn't home due to work commitments," he said.
Kearns also told HuffPost his wife will have surgery on Wednesday due to her inflamed liver. In an update from Tuesday, he wrote about visiting her in the hospital and realizing how much she does while he's at work.
"Earlier that day when I was talking to Sarah in hospital about the previous night ... she said, 'I want you to write this down so you always remember just how hard it is.'" he wrote. "It is hard, It's really hard."
In another update, Kearns also shared a photo of him and his sons and wrote that she is "one very missed Mummy."
We knew Shaquille O'Neal had moves on the basketball court, but it turns out he's a maniac on the dance floor too.
In a preview clip for Thursday's episode of "Lip Sync Battle," the former NBA player channels his inner Jennifer Beals with a "Flashdance"-inspired routine. Dressed in an oversized grey sweatshirt, curly brown wig and leg warmers (necessary), the 7-foot-1 O'Neal busts a move to Michael Sembello's "Maniac." The only thing missing is the giant splash of water, but a big part of us thinks that's being saved for the actual show. Guess we'll have to tune in on Thursday to find out.
In the meantime, check out the preview clip above.
"Lip Sync Battle" airs on Thursday at 10 p.m. ET on Spike.
Shaquille O'Neal Unleashes His Inner 'Maniac' With 'Flashdance' Routine On 'Lip Sync Battle'
Always remember: The last thing you ever text an ex or a crush or someone you hooked up with may leave a lasting impression on them. And not in a good way. More like in an "eek, dodged a bullet there" kind of way.
Comedy duo Eva McEnrue and Mel Owens have people just like you read real "famous last texts" from their now famous last exes.
People Read #FamousLastTexts Sent To Them By Exes, Hookups And Crushes
A Cavs ran who goes by the Reddit username PARTYxDIRTYDAN -- a pretty good username, if you ask me -- promised midway through the Western Conference Finals that he would eat his shirt should the Golden State Warriors actually come back from a 3-1 series deficit against the Oklahoma City Thunder.
On Monday night, the Warriors did just that, beating the Thunder 96-88 in Game 7. And so, PARTYxDIRTYDAN took to the kitchen, where he ate a few small pieces of his T-shirt with the help of some BBQ sauce. "It's not even chewable," he said. Nevertheless, PARTYxDIRTYDAN, a man of his word, kept on keeping on.
"I hope this doesn't ruin my credit score haha," he later wrote. Au contraire, PARTYxDIRTYDAN. It will likely do quite the opposite.
A Cavs Fan Said He'd Eat His Shirt If The Warriors Won, So He Did
What better way to celebrate the release of the new X-Men movie than with a gay porn parody?
From Men.com, the studio that previously brought you adult-themed takes on "Star Wars" and "Batman VS Superman," comes "X-Men - A Gay Porn Parody," featuring Colby Keller as Wolverine and Brenner Bolton as Cyclops.
"The queer appeal is undeniable," director Alter Sin told The Huffington Post. "Hot men in sexy costumes aside, not only does the X-Men have a history of queer characters, the franchise also has a long history of tackling issues of discrimination that mirrors many LGBT rights struggles. In the 'X-Men: The Last Stand,' mutants, like queers, are 'born different' and often face discrimination and harassment because they are considered a threat to some in mainstream culture. The 'Mutant Cure' implies that mutants are a disease and this story line has a disturbing similarity to the homophobic ex-gay movement, which promised to teach gays how to reject their homo 'illness” and become straight.'"
Not to mention all that spandex, right?
Head over to Men.com for more info.
Are You Ready For The X-Men Porn Parody Of Your Dreams?Guys, lets face the cold hard truth: nobody gives a shit about you. Specifically, your purple-headed warrior and other dangly things. In fact, the 'Y' chromosome itself garners plenty of ridicule from credible sources. Unbeknownst to you, women laugh at your curious cucumber every day. And it's wrong. Totally wrong. And unfair. You and your petrified slinky deserve better.
Now if society actually does care about you and the one-eyed snail, it's nowhere near as much as people praise hot chicks and the omnipotent V.A.G. Online lists abound of all sorts of female fuckables and you're just feeling . . . left out right?
As you cry yourself to sleep at night, you wonder: doesn't anyone wanna bang ME? Doesn't anyone wanna make a list of me and say how bangable I am? How many publications really feature me and say sexy stuff about ME?
Men, I think you can see where I'm going with this. You and I both know that the world needs more of you naked, looking gorgeous, and cleaning my house.
Glad we can all agree.
So for the greater good, I introduce a new kind of MILF (Men I'd Like to Fuck!) Manifesto to the collective psyche, starting with only a few of you. My elegant list will address each of you beef thermometers dignified male pioneers individually - for a more personal and heartfelt experience. Get ready.
#1) Brad Pitt, who used to be the 'Sexiest Man Alive'
Mr. Pitt, oh first and sacred one . . .
Congratulations! I began hoarding and making sweet sweet love to your magazine covers when I was 11-years-old, which effectively ruined me for all of the other human pez dispensers I eventually dated. Notwithstanding the paper cuts, our time together was actually my favorite form of exercise back then, second only to watching illegal fuzzy versions of the Spice channel when no one was looking. Anyway, you were 31 at the time. And now, you're definitely not.
Alas, 200 years later, you're still a magical sex leprechaun. How you got your body back after having all those kids I'll never know.
That said, it can't be denied that you're an old man now and probably have saggy balls. But fear not! I would still do you. This says a lot about your face cream regimen and my nostalgia for a mispent youth.
Come to think of it, I'm also missing Shark Bites, Gushers, and Fruit by the Foot.
But I digress, Mr. Pitt.
Now, because I was in love with you, I had planned to save myself for our wedding night but . . . it turns out that I'm in love with me more.
Lucky for you it's never too late. And the good news is, I finally have plenty of pubic hair for you to play with. I braid it every day.
So if you're not 'dead inside' after years of being tortured by She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and can still muster the strength, I think we should hook up.
Please contact me at info@juliettefrette.com if this can be arranged. And just in case you were worried, grey man-pubes don't offend me.
Big Dick Richie, if you were a man-maid in my house, you would be doing the dishes topless. And bottomless.
Oh you're cold, you say? Too bad :'(
The only accessory I like on a man is a wallet . . .
Moreover, scientific studies have shown that buying me things will extend your lifespan.
Big Dick Richie, I do hope you're getting your fair share of 'George Washingtons' in your current job. I demand equality around here dammit!!
Now, I wouldn't be unreasonable enough to expect you to have a personality, but I do require for the sake of feminism that you at least provide some free naked pics online, which you clearly haven't done.
Even more upsetting, I hear that you're kind of Italian. Yet you share no cannelloni or meatballs! Without question, you have left me here to starve to death.
Does 'contraDICKshun' mean anything to you?
This offense is punishable by the UN as a crime against humanity.
If you wish to seek forgiveness or otherwise atone, you may contact me at info@juliettefrette.com and we can discuss a shorter-term imprisonment.
#3) Jamie Fraser, Outlander guy - whose real name I will remember at some point
Jamie Fraser, I have oddly not imagined sex with you yet. Probably because you are always having TV-sex with your co-star. I will remedy this injustice immediately once I figure out how to eliminate "her" from the mental picture.
But hey - love the way you look in kilts and other dresses. Who wore it best? YOU WORE IT BEST!
Yes you are indeed the hottest ginger in the world.
Are you red *everywhere*? Does um, the carpet match the pubes? Can't wait to find out! Either way, I don't want you to be self-conscious.
I just want you to know that I'm open-minded and not easily scared off by bright colors or loud noises.
Speaking of which, your home alarm system is super relaxing. Like a lullaby. Don't worry, I'll be back.
If you would like to contact me before I surprise you at an undisclosed location tomorrow, please use the following email address: info@juliettefrette.com.
#4) Richard-on-TV ~ otherwise known as Richard III from The White Queen miniseries
First of all, Richard-on-TV, feel free to ignore me at your earliest convenience per protocol.
You know, you were always an odd MILF choice for me. Mostly because you resemble a coy Edward-Scissorhands version of my husband, otherwise known as Husband-on-the-Couch, who was wildly jealous of you and I. The way I threw myself at you . . . and the way your silence drove me to greater depths of bliss . . . Since then, galloping into a brick wall is the only pastime that gives me the same release.
Poopsy, I have already exhausted my passions for you HERE and HERE. I even employed an email outreach template to extract responses from you, to no avail. All schemes to get your attention have failed me. You clearly respond to no one in the world ever. If this kind of message below doesn't inspire a prompt reply from you, I don't know what will:
Subject: URGENT!!
! Me is a representativ from the centraL bank of Vagina. Yiu is in debt to our trustees. Pleaze remit payment here: info@juliettefrette.com.
See? Nothing moves you.
Still, l want you to know that I'm a forgiving person and will accept sexual favors and your long letters of apology here: info@juliettefrette.com. *Note: This is not an ideal receptacle for dick pics. Save that for Twitter.
#5) Daniel Zovatto - the guy from It Follows and Fear the Walking Dead
First, Mr. Pleasure Piñata, you should feel special that I memorized your name and have decided to follow you on Twitter and Instagram. I'm hoping you'll post some sexy pics for me but so far you leave me disappointed. And nearly every pic I find of you online basically makes me angry.
I say this with love.
Anyway I hope to see you soon as a flesh-eating zombie! With rigor mortis in all the right places, your glorious comeback on FTWD will be epic. Speaking of which, if you're looking for your next zombie *snack* don't be shy! My secretions are loaded with vitamins and antioxidants.
Which reminds me! Please add the following to your IMDB résumé since you did have a starring role:
"Juliette's Fantasy Series: Fun in Corporate Bathrooms with Fluorescent Lighting" ~
Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5
Remember these? SAG Ultra Low Budget agreement? You were well endowed, had excellent arm strength, and were very talented.
Can't wait til you choose a better location to seduce me again. Like a beach! Next time you can be the surfer and I'll be the jelly fish.
Please contact info@juliettefrette.com immediately and my administrator will fit you in to my schedule.
#6) And finally: Short-and-Out-of-Shape-Guy-at-the-Office . . . (Can't put a pic of you here just in case someone finds out, so here's a pic of Kitteh instead . . .)
Guy-at-the-Office, I have a thing for you because like being in jail, we make do with our options.
Ok the truth is, if our lives were a bad movie, I'd be the hot chick and you'd be Seth Rogan.
Even so, I look at you and imagine you're hung like Ron Jeremy and start to squirm at my ergo desk. I mean, you can't possibly be that confident for any other reason . . . ?
Now listen, Guy-at-the-Office, I think you should probably be fired to protect my honor. After all, your presence is rather disruptive to my productivity. Every time I hear your voice over Webex I have to recite the following monologue to my vagina:
"What's this strange tingle sensation? Is the eczema flaring up again?"
"Good God Kitteh, Momma says no to you, for the millionth time."
"You already had a groom sesh this morning."
"Lets go to that bathroom with fluorescent lighting and take the warm kombucha bottle like I promised . . ."
"Oh, you want a Coke bottle instead? Once again Kitteh, high-fructose sodas are vulgar and we have principles."
"Where's Daniel Zovatto when you need him??"
In the sage words of Maya Angelou, sometimes it's better to go fuck yourself.
Guy-at-the-Office, with any luck, you will never know who you are and will never contact me at info@juliettefrette.com. Now stop antagonizing Kitteh or she'll tear up the carpet as usual.
For the rest of you MILFs-in-waiting: more of your brethren will be added to our growing list later. In kind, respectful, and benevolent ways.
Finally! You're welcome. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me . . .
http://ift.tt/1XbeAo9
#nofucksgiven
Here's an open message to the brain from an over-thinker: Please stop.
It's hard to have an active -- and sometimes irrational -- mind. Sure, we all have those moments where we linger on an embarrassing mishap or wonder about our future, but over-thinkers can't help but take their rumination to the next level. These individuals have a tendency to worry more than others thanks to their incessant thoughts and indecisive nature.
Luckily, Twitter understands the plight of the personality type. Below are 11 tweets that perfectly capture what it's like to live in an over-thinker's brain. In one word? Exhausting.
I'm not athletic but if overthinking was an Olympic sport I'd have six gold medals, an endorsement with Subway and my face on a Wheaties box
— Carly Danger (@carlyken) October 14, 2014
My anxiety over misreading that handshake-or-hug moment takes up way too much space in my brain.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 8, 2013
Me: Goodnight.
Brain: Pssst.
Me: What?
Brain: What disease do you think we have?
— Inappropriate Charm (@LackOfShame) July 17, 2015
[as something good is happening to me]
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) December 4, 2015
MY BRAIN: This is fleeting and will inevitably end
does anyone ever get anxious that their lives mean nothing and they'll be alone forever and everything is a waste of time or is that just me
— farwz (@farwzaz) November 11, 2014
im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things:
every person on earth & their opinion of me
— a lost fish (@grumbist) September 14, 2015
the crushing psychological weight of being alive
my nights are for overthinking & my mornings are for oversleeping
— Sarcasm (@TheComedyHumor) March 7, 2016
brain: here's a good memory with someone who ended up really hurting you
— ray (@LUClDITY) April 25, 2016
me: why did you bring me this
brain: just because
Marco Arturo has no time for anti-vaxxers.
In a Facebook video that's gone viral, the 12-year-old from Mexico hilariously trolled parents who refuse to vaccinate their children.
Marco set up the clip by claiming everyone had "been lied to by doctors and pharmaceutical companies about vaccines."
"After a lot of research I realized that vaccines do and will cause autism," he said, holding up what he claimed was a damning dossier of his findings.
But when he opened the folder, titled "Evidence That Vaccines Cause Autism," all of the pages were blank.
"I think it might be because there is absolutely no evidence to support the statement that vaccines are linked to autism in any way whatsoever," he said.
"So please, vaccinate your children," Marco, who calls himself a scientist on his Facebook page's profile, added.
Check it out in the clip above.
NEW YORK: Goodyear Satire Company-
Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump today reflected on his storied military career while laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Shareholder.
Trump's military career began at the age of 18, when, the Vietnam War raging, he courageously battled the United States Selective Service for four consecutive years, earning not only four student deferments but a Bonze Medal from the campus Chuck E. Cheese.
Even after the early Vietnam years, Trump's fire to fight and possibly die for his country burned within his soul. He wanted to serve in the worst way, like his father didn't, and his father's father didn't, either.
Donald Trump's Paternal Grandfather, Frederick Drumpf
Not content with sitting on the sidelines when so many of his brothers-in-arms were dying for their country, Trump was undeterred. He rejoined his battle with Selective Service after his student de, and bravely fought for and received the classification he was unfit for military service on medical grounds. Trump was devastated at the turn of events.
Trump had been pronounced fit for service at 18, but the stress of Trump's battles with the government caused him a service-related disability. For his injuries, he was awarded a 4-F which he took as a sign, as it paralleled the 4-F's he had received in college.
Trump was well trained for his military service, having previously enlisted in the New York Military Academy at the age of 13. He battled foes many months his senior to prevail and achieve the rank of Cadet Captailn, roughly equivalent to four-star general. Based on his military academy experience alone Trump "always felt that I was in the military."
Trump is proud to be a veteran. And with his vast military experience, Trump is critical of those who had fewer heroic military exploits than he, saying of John McCain, a Vietnam-era POW, that he "likes people who were not captured."
Trump is well known as a military hawk.
#ChickenTrump #chickenhawk @realDonaldTrump Stayed away from war. Ridiculed McCain. Talks big against ISIS. http://pic.twitter.com/oba6Up8v65
— K John Glidewell (@glimester) May 28, 2016
Trump has said America should torture family members of ISIS combatants. "We have to beat the savages." This principled stand is a reminder of the esteem America's troops hold for Trump.
Memorial Day: a day made for the War Hero Donald Trump!
Frederick Trump.jpg http://ift.tt/22uszog See page for author [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
It's a good thing Barack Obama says "work" a lot, or how else could YouTube user Baracksdubs have delivered this sync-along in which the president's words are dubbed into Rihanna's "Work"?
"Happy Memorial Day! Enjoy your day off with some Work," the YouTube description reads.
Works for us.
Obama 'Singing' Rihanna's 'Work' Is Keeping America Great
Being a dad is one of the greatest experiences a guy can have, but the job comes with responsibilities -- especially if you're a weird dad.
Kids may not realize it, but when they give a weird dad a normal Father's Day gift like a tie, golf clubs or an Amazon gift card, a part of Pop dies inside.
It's the weird thought that counts with Dad, which is why HuffPost Weird News is once again helping out by curating only the most bizarre gifts that strange fathers everywhere will love.
And, yes, some of them involve getting drunk.
Super Weird Father's Day Gifts For Your Super Weird Dad
Want pants made of bread? Ambien for getting through the part of the day when you're awake? Or how about keys that cry when you're about to leave them at home?
John Oliver's "Last Week Tonight" is off for the week, but in a clip released online he put a new spin on one of his most common questions.
Usually, he asks "How Is This Still A Thing?" when wondering about the continued popularity of Ayn Rand, or the fact that we still have Daylight Saving Time.
But this week, he asks the opposite question.
"While there are many things in this world that should no longer be things, there are also many non-things that should absolutely be thing-ified," he said. "Brought into the thing-sistence, if you will."
Check it out in the clip above.
John Oliver Proposes Some Of The Greatest Things That Don't Exist... Yet
Need some help in understanding the universe? Then check out this entertaining -- and slightly risqué -- video by British YouTuber Exurb1a, who does his best to break it all down in just over four minutes.
Exurb1a's humorous whistle-stop explainer begins with The Planck Length, before moving on to cover neutrinos, quarks and atoms, the periodic table and DNA. He then focuses on the bigger stuff, such as the Solar System and black holes. However, as the 26-year-old notes, "Nothing means anything and we're all going to die."
He has a point.
Exurb1a, a philosophy PhD student who currently lives in eastern Europe, does go off-piste during the video. There's a dig at an ex-girlfriend, and he pokes fun at several celebrities. But that hasn't stopped the clip, which he posted to YouTube on May 23, from going viral. Many viewers have likened it to Bill Wurtz's similarly quirky 9-minute history of Japan.
"I created the video after having the idea while I was out running, being certain that someone had done something similar," Exurb1a, who plans on making more explainers, said via email. "I was amazed that they didn't seem to have after I checked."
"The reception was way beyond anything I expected, and I'm still fairly confused why it got so many views," he added.
They did Darth Vader proud.
Dancing Stormtroopers let off some serious steam during the "Britain's Got Talent" grand final on Saturday night.
"Boogie Storm" -- who were head judge Simon Cowell's golden buzzer act -- cut loose with a phenomenal performance, which saw the usually obedient servants of the Galactic Empire embrace their softer side.
The 6-strong troupe boogied on down to classic Spice Girls, Madonna, The Weather Girls and Justin Bieber tracks — before ending the performance to "Dirty Dancing's" "The Time Of My Life."
And yes, they even recreated Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey's iconic lift.
But ultimately, the force wasn't with them — and they ended the talent competition, the winner of which is voted for by the British public, in third place.
Here's how the rest of the finalists fared.
CLEVELAND CLINIC: Goodyear Satire Company--
A reader writes, "Dr. GOP, how can the Republican Party fight off its persistent Donald Trump infection?"
The Donald Trump infection is a relatively new strain of superbug called trumpococcus teapartius. It is highly resistent to antibiotics or reason, so the body politic must rely on its white cells to fight off the infection.
There are several types of white cells. They include Christies, Rubios, Bushes, Cruzes, Romneys and Pauls. Each fights infection in a different way.
White cells surrounding a Donald Trump invasion.
Note the characteristic small hands.
Christies are one of the body politic's main defenses against bacteria. Christies kill bacteria by ingesting them. In the event the invader is too strong, Christies can absorb the invader's DNA, turn against the body and support the infection. Scientists have observed Christies in the wild shining the shoes of the successful invader in its own quest for power and food.
Another type of white cell is called a Rubio. Rubios are immature Christies. Rubios and Christies sometimes attack each other. Christies typically best Rubios, expeling them from the body politic, and sending them home to Florida to nurse their wounds. Through exposure to sunlight, the Rubios' store of Vitamin D is replenished. Then they can join the Christies to further encourage the invader. A Secretary of Education Marco Rubio may result.
Christies devour repetitive Rubios
The Bush type of white cell kills parasites. Hematologists have identified a family of related Bush cells including Jebs, Georges and Old Georges. Jebs are not as effective in repelling invasions as Georges or Old Georges. and are impotent in the face of a strong or persistent infection. Jebs appear to commit cellicide and remove themselves from circulation. It is unknown what happens to them after they write their memoirs. Please clap.
Although Cruzes are not well understood, they also function in allergic reactions. Cruzes release histamine (which attracts renegade white cells) and heparin (which prevents clotting). Their freedom to associate thus challenged, Cruzes cling to their guns, wither and die as an effective infection-fighting force.
Jebs rise before Romneys and Pauls, with HAL in the distance. (2001)
Romneys enter the tissue itself, where they become 47% larger. There they can ingest bacteria throughout the body. Romneys destroy damaged and dead cells and send their jobs to China.
Christies and Romneys use many mechanisms to get to and kill invading organisms. Both can squeeze through tiny openings in debates. They are attracted to chemicals produced by the immune system or residue found on twenty dollar bills. They kill bacteria by completely surrounding the bacteria and digesting them with enzymes.
If they fail to kill the bacteria, the bacteria develops immunity to all types of white cells except Klans and Neos. These are white cells that encourage, rather than discourage, infection and chaos.
Renegade Klans (blue and white) and Neos (yellow). Magnification 20,000
The trumpococcus teapartius infection takes over in the absence of a strong challenge from the body's establishment. The infection effectively destroys the body politic, reducing its institutional legacy to tatters.
This can only happen if the established white cells allow the body to be corrupted. The Romneys, Cruzes and their helper cells the Ryans join the Christies and Rubios and all mistakenly support the invader by attacking a common foe, when the real enemy to the viability of the body is the invader itself.
After four years of a Donald Trump infection, the GOP establishment will no longer exist.
A victorious Trump invasion. The absence of white establishment cells is clear.
Pauls are complex cells used to direct the body's immune system. White cells called Pauls come in two types, Ronocytes (called R cells) and Randocytes (called D cells). The D cells lose power rather quickly.
When both R and D cells are depleted, Independent Johnsons emerge and quickly become the established cells' preferred method of reasserting systemic control.Independent Johnsons challenge the invader, finally vanquishing it and rebranding the Independent Johnson as the body politic. Thus, the body controls the infection and the invader is reduced to filing bankruptcy to wipe out his campaign debt.
Blood in the water after Donald Trump bankruptcy #5 (illustration)
An alternative strategy is to encourage the growth of a strain of helper enzymes called democratus partius, either a Hillarius or Bernius. Either can defeat the trumpococcus teapartius by a reduction in conversations about the damn emails and actually discussing policy and goals. Hillarius enzymes tend to express attitudes and display behavior similar to Romnies without penii. On the other hand, Bernius tends to exhibit the same spirit as Independent Johnsons but on a wider range of social issues. His earlier writings displayed a fondness for independent johnsons.
Hillarius surrounding a Bernius in California.
Thanks for your great question!
Photo credits:
Monocytes, a type of white blood cell (Giemsa stained).jpg http://ift.tt/1X53XmG By Dr Graham Beards [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://ift.tt/HKkdTz)], via Wikimedia Commons
Staph aureus outside a white blood cell http://ift.tt/1TNPmIm By National Institutes of Health (NIH) (National Institutes of Health (NIH)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Red, White Blood cells.jpg http://ift.tt/1k8mESq By Electron Microscopy Facility at The National Cancer Institute at Frederick (NCI-Frederick) ([1]) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
White blood cell with MRSA.jpg http://ift.tt/1TNPE1G By National Institutes of Health (NIH) (National Institutes of Health (NIH)) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Blood cells 090304-F-5951M-108.jpg http://ift.tt/1X53pNQ By U.S. Air Force photo/Airman 1st Class Laura Max. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Staphylococcus aureus bacteria escape.jpg http://ift.tt/1TNPmbc By =(Credit: NIAID/RML) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Red blood cells illustration.jpg http://ift.tt/1X53Uap By Donald Bliss (Illustrator) [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Multidrug-resistant Klebsiella pneumoniaeand neutrophil.bmp.jpg http://ift.tt/1TNP8AR By David Dorward; Ph.D.; National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (http://ift.tt/1b9TfEI) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Fill in the blanks...
I will ___________________.
I never said I would ____________________.
I only suggested that I would ____________________________.
I only answered someone who asked if I would ___________________________.
I said I had heard that there were some who said ___________________________ and a lot of people believe it.
Certainly it might be something that should be looked into but I don't know enough about ______________to say one way or the other.
I have a number of investigators looking into the possibility that _____________________________.
Believe me. There's a ton of information that a lot of people will not be happy to hear about _____________________..
In any event, call me Don.
Steve Young is the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful, Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and Other Steppingstones to Success" (www.greatfailure.com)
NOTE: Spoilers from "Game of Thrones" Season 6 ahead.
She may be the badass Mother of Dragons. But even Emilia Clarke couldn't help being embarrassed when watching that nude "Game of Thrones" scene with her parents.
The British actress, who plays Daenerys Targaryen in the HBO epic fantasy drama, opened up about the awkward screening on "The Graham Norton Show," which aired in the U.K. on Friday night.
With her mom and dad commenting on how she hadn't appeared in many of the early episodes of the sixth season, she encouraged them to watch the one in which she appears completely naked.
"In hindsight (it) might have been not the episode to choose," she said. Norton pressed her on the subject, and asked whether she watched the entire scene with her parents.
"Yes," she replied, before flushing red and trying to change the topic.
"I think I probably started talking about something really important, like 'Top Gear,'" she added, before turning to actor Matt LeBlanc, who was also on the show promoting the upcoming relaunch of the BBC motoring show.
Check it out in the clip above.
Donald Trump is being relentlessly mocked on Twitter for backing out of a debate with Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.).
The #ChickenTrump hashtag started trending soon after the billionaire businessman revealed he wouldn't be discussing policy issues with the Democratic presidential candidate.
The presumptive GOP presidential nominee is depicted as farmyard foul in many of the hilarious images, gifs and short video clips that are going viral.
Here are some of the best:
Donald Trump Blows Off Bernie Sanders Debate, Sparks 'Chicken' Meme
"Trump claims to be a real tough guy, pushes people around," said Sanders. "Hey Donald, come on up, let's have a debate about the future of America."
Maher's interview with Sanders covered multiple issues, including some people's perception that he's a hardcore socialist -- which he claimed he isn't.
But it soon circled back to Trump, who Sanders said was difficult to strategize against because of his lies and apparent unaccountability.
Bernie's in the house! We invited Hillary and Trump, but Trump's a whiney little bitch, and Hillary couldn't open the email. - @billmaher
— Real Time (@RealTimers) May 28, 2016
"I have a lot of Republican colleagues and friends who I disagree with. They're not crazy. They're honest people," he said.
"This guy (Trump) is a pathological liar, and I don't mean to be malicious, but it's just the damn truth," he added. "He would be not only be an embarrassment, but a real danger to this entire world if he would become president."
Check it out in the clip above.
Also on the show, Maher called on the public to continue using the #WhinyLittleBitch hashtag when talking about Trump on social media -- in order to brand him "like he brands everybody else." The #ChickenTrump hashtag also surfaced on the show's Twitter account.
Watch that clip here:
Ariana Grande's newest single, "Into You", is blowing up with the release of her music video, which means there will be many parodies to come of this song. But what happens when Ariana starts suing everyone who makes parodies?
Watch below to find out how one boy overcomes being sued by Ariana Grande, in a parody of "Into You"! Afterwards be sure to click here and watch a parody of Dangerous Woman!
Now, this was a really close call at the plate. A 10-year-old baseball player was overjoyed to find out that the umpire was actually his dad, a Marine who'd secretly returned from a six-month deployment overseas.
Master Sgt. Randy Brock called balls and strikes in disguise until his son A.J. came to bat in a scrimmage in Menifee, California, on May 13.
Brock at first tried to draw his son's attention by deliberately making bad calls while A.J. pitched in the top of the first inning, according to the Daily Mail.
Then, with A.J. stepping into the batter's box, Brock paused to brush dirt from the plate and removed his mask. He was greeted with a big hug from his son.
Brock's 9-year-old daughter, Mikaella, rushed onto the field to join the family reunion. The children had thought their father would be returning from Japan next month.
Their mom, Janet Brock, had arranged for the homecoming with officials from the Menifee Pony Baseball and Softball League. The surprise was the sole point of the baseball scrimmage, according to The Valley News, which perhaps explains the unusually large crowd who'd gathered to watch.
Sgt. Brock has deployed six times, including three combat tours.
Internet puzzles tend to drive people to the brink of insanity.
Facebook user Antley Lamont Staten recently posted a photo of a puzzle that was clearly making his head hurt:
“Ok I don't get it?” he wrote as a comment -- and he wasn’t alone. Since Staten posted the confounding conundrum, it has been shared almost 400,000 times with others trying to figure out WTF the answer to this mysterious math problem is.
Some took a stab at it.
“It's 4 and 5. 3+6 = 9. 2+5=7 not 8 and 1+4=5 not 7. That's how I looked at it,” one commenter wrote.
Another commenter who, after assumedly pulling out a handful of hair while trying to figure it out, proclaimed this after solving it:
“Omg. Took me a while because I was concentrating on the #'s lol.”
Thing is, that’s the trick. It’s actually not a math problem at all.
If you look at the sign to the left, it reads “Share when you find the mitsake.”
Mistake is spelled incorrectly.
Yup. That’s it. Kind of makes you feel like this, right?:
Especially after you felt like this while trying to figure it out:
Us too. Now excuse we while we go out and buy some Aspirin.
