Wondering How To Talk To A Woman Who's Wearing Headphones? Don't.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a woman’s got headphones on, she doesn’t want to talk to you. 

However, some misguided piece in The Modern Man suggests that, yes, women who have chosen to put something over and/or in their ears that actively prevents them from having to hear anything else do want to talk to random men ― they just need some nudging.

The piece was originally published in 2013, but has received renewed attention on social media after this Aug. 29 tweet:

Below is a sample piece of terrible advice from author Dan Bacon to men looking to talk to women with headphones: 

THIS. ADVICE. IS. GARBAGE.

You know what a woman wants when she’s got her headphones in? To be left the hell alone. She’s probably listening to a sweet podcast or a great jam and doesn’t want to have it interrupted by a stranger miming the act of headphone removal in front of her face.

This isn’t a rom-com. You’re not John Cusack.  

After this abomination of an article was recently resurfaced, people had a lot to say about it on Twitter:

How to approach women who wear headphones:

1) Get in the bin
2) Set the bin on fire
3) Roll the bin away from the woman
4) Towards the sea

— David Jackmanson (@djackmanson) August 29, 2016

How To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones

1. Create a podcast

— Clare Coffey (@ClareCoffey) August 29, 2016

If you try to talk to me while I have headphones on I will IMMEDIATELY assume you are trying to mug me and introduce you to my pepper spray

— Danielle Henderson (@knottyyarn) August 30, 2016

If i'm wearing headphones, don't talk to me unless you've won an Oscar or I'm on fire

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) August 30, 2016

the best way to talk to a woman wearing headphones is to move out of her line of sight and punch yourself repeatedly in the face and/or dick

— Gravitas Free Zone (@NoraReed) August 29, 2016

Okay so I just looked up the “how to talk to a woman wearing headphones” article and I would literally vomit blood on any guy who did this.

— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) August 30, 2016

Now, there’s a very good chance this article and the entire Modern Man site is simply poorly-written parody. Some of the other pieces of garbage the site has produced include:

The only safe assumption here is that this is satire because if it’s not...

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Wondering How To Talk To A Woman Who's Wearing Headphones? Don't.